Brad and I met in early February of 2005. I had just left an ex-boyfriend who had decided he never wanted to get married or have kids. I was 19, that is all I really wanted to do. So I moved to Washington state to stay with my sister while I figured out what was next. I was getting ready to join the Air Force when I met him. He was so goofy, totally not my type. I had decided that I would just ignore him and he would move on. He didn't. He just kept talking to me, talking about anything and everything until I started talking too. So it wasn't love at first sight, at least not for me but after talking I knew he was someone special. After a week or two of talking and hanging out Brad asked me not to join the Air Force and soon after he proposed.
We were going to stay engaged for a while but decided why wait. We were married March 26, 2005. Soon after we were married I started to go see doctors about issues I was having with my cycles. It took a while to find a doctor to take me seriously and eventually I was diagnosed with Poly Cystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) and an severe case of Endometreosis. While Brad was still in the military we tried fertility treatment and everything we could when he was actually home and not on deployments. It was hard to have to take breaks in our efforts. After about 6 months of fertility treatments and a seriously high dose of hormones and still no progress Brad and I decided to stop fertility treatment and to pursue adoption.
In early 2009, after months of sever bleeding, cramping, and ungodly tiredness, I finally went back to my doctor for help and she sent me directly to the Hospital for a blood transfusion of 3 units. Later that year, after all the classes, applications, waiting, and praying we had a brother and sister placed in our home in a foster to adopt situation. Things were going great and it was then that we decided that quality of life was more important than a possibility of a natural born biological child so I had a hysterectomy but opted to leave my ovaries in to avoid early menopause. About two months post-op a series of unfortunate events took place landing in our foster-to-adopt children being adopted by someone else. We were heart broken. We were done. What more could we possibly handle!
I fell into a deep depression, nothing helped. We started going to church, something we had meant to do for years, and with time and the grace of God the light started to break through the clouds. I started dreaming again and reaching for goals that were attainable through hard work. I opened my own small business and the idea of being a kid free home seemed ok. Once things from my business slowed down the quietness crept back in. I eventually parted ways with my business and business partners and that is when the silence really hit me. I was not ok with not having kids, that is all I wanted.
I talked to Brad about my new plan for surrogacy and while he admitted it was a good plan he was not sure he wanted to go down that road again. We agreed to make a list of things we wanted to do before kids, and re-discuss the surrogacy plan in a few months.
Now anyone who knows me knows I am not a patient person, so naturally I wanted to talk and discuss the idea with Brad and he just wanted to churn the idea around on his own. We had a couple serious disagreements and we could both feel the strain of wanting different things. I don't know exactly how it happened but one day it was easier for me to shut up about the subject, and it gave Brad time to think. After a couple months he brought up the subject and me wanting to respect him let it pass with out a round of 20 questions. On Christmas Eve (or maybe the day before that) Brad brought it up again and when I didn't bite he asked why I haven't been hassling him about it when he brings it up, so I hassled him. That is when he told me to go see the doctor, and while we still have a few things we want to do before kids, like pay off a few bills, he was on board.We have our first appointment on January 20th to meet with the specialist to see what our first steps will be. Our goal is to use my egg(s) with Brad's deposit in a Gestational Surrogate. Our bun in a third parties oven... it is weird to think about but I could not be more excited.
-Kelsy
We were going to stay engaged for a while but decided why wait. We were married March 26, 2005. Soon after we were married I started to go see doctors about issues I was having with my cycles. It took a while to find a doctor to take me seriously and eventually I was diagnosed with Poly Cystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) and an severe case of Endometreosis. While Brad was still in the military we tried fertility treatment and everything we could when he was actually home and not on deployments. It was hard to have to take breaks in our efforts. After about 6 months of fertility treatments and a seriously high dose of hormones and still no progress Brad and I decided to stop fertility treatment and to pursue adoption.
In early 2009, after months of sever bleeding, cramping, and ungodly tiredness, I finally went back to my doctor for help and she sent me directly to the Hospital for a blood transfusion of 3 units. Later that year, after all the classes, applications, waiting, and praying we had a brother and sister placed in our home in a foster to adopt situation. Things were going great and it was then that we decided that quality of life was more important than a possibility of a natural born biological child so I had a hysterectomy but opted to leave my ovaries in to avoid early menopause. About two months post-op a series of unfortunate events took place landing in our foster-to-adopt children being adopted by someone else. We were heart broken. We were done. What more could we possibly handle!
I fell into a deep depression, nothing helped. We started going to church, something we had meant to do for years, and with time and the grace of God the light started to break through the clouds. I started dreaming again and reaching for goals that were attainable through hard work. I opened my own small business and the idea of being a kid free home seemed ok. Once things from my business slowed down the quietness crept back in. I eventually parted ways with my business and business partners and that is when the silence really hit me. I was not ok with not having kids, that is all I wanted.
I talked to Brad about my new plan for surrogacy and while he admitted it was a good plan he was not sure he wanted to go down that road again. We agreed to make a list of things we wanted to do before kids, and re-discuss the surrogacy plan in a few months.
Now anyone who knows me knows I am not a patient person, so naturally I wanted to talk and discuss the idea with Brad and he just wanted to churn the idea around on his own. We had a couple serious disagreements and we could both feel the strain of wanting different things. I don't know exactly how it happened but one day it was easier for me to shut up about the subject, and it gave Brad time to think. After a couple months he brought up the subject and me wanting to respect him let it pass with out a round of 20 questions. On Christmas Eve (or maybe the day before that) Brad brought it up again and when I didn't bite he asked why I haven't been hassling him about it when he brings it up, so I hassled him. That is when he told me to go see the doctor, and while we still have a few things we want to do before kids, like pay off a few bills, he was on board.We have our first appointment on January 20th to meet with the specialist to see what our first steps will be. Our goal is to use my egg(s) with Brad's deposit in a Gestational Surrogate. Our bun in a third parties oven... it is weird to think about but I could not be more excited.
-Kelsy